Sara - Reliving Postpartum Depression | 004
In this episode of Reclaim Your Pink Within, I welcome Sara for a thoughtful and honest conversation about how motherhood reshapes who we are — often in ways we don’t expect or immediately recognize. Sara is a mother of three who speaks candidly about the realities of motherhood, identity loss, and the invisible labour women carry. Through her lived experience, she shares a grounded and deeply relatable perspective on burnout, self-reconnection, and learning to listen to the body’s cues.
Sara reflects on her transition into motherhood and how it shifted her sense of identity, priorities, and capacity. Together, we explore the pressure many women feel to hold everything together, even when they are running on empty. Our conversation moves through the emotional layers of motherhood — losing parts of yourself, adapting to constant change, and redefining what self-care looks like in real life.
She speaks openly about letting go of perfection, asking for help, and finding rhythms that support her wellbeing rather than deplete it. Her story reflects the quiet strength of mothers navigating life in the thick of it, finding meaning not in perfection, but in presence, self-trust, and small moments of joy. This episode is a reminder that motherhood is not about having it all figured out, but about giving yourself permission to evolve, rest, and be supported along the way.
Key Takeaways
- Adaptability is a skill that grows through motherhood, not a sign of instability
- Letting go of comparison creates space for self-trust and confidence
- Sustainable routines matter more than short bursts of motivation
- Support systems don’t have to be big to be meaningful — they just have to be honest
About the Guest:
Sara is a graphic designer and mother of three currently on a “power pause” — a season of life dedicated to raising her children while redefining her relationship with work, identity, and self. A self-described jack of all trades, Sara brings creativity, adaptability, and honesty to everything she does. Through her lived experience of motherhood, burnout, and reconnection, she offers a grounded and deeply relatable perspective on navigating life in the thick of it.
About The Host:
Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a family physician with a clinical focus on aesthetic medicine, women’s health, and psycho-education. Her work is grounded in a holistic, whole-person approach that integrates medical science with a deep appreciation of the mind–body connection. Alongside her clinical practice, she is deeply committed to medical education and mentors the next generation of family physicians through her work with the Department of Family Medicine at the University of British Columbia.
She is the founder of Reclaim The Pink Within, a community created to support women through life’s most profound transitions. This project was born from personal experience. After becoming a mother, Dr. Oliver-Dussault became aware of a quiet but profound shift in her sense of self, one she had long observed in her patients, yet only fully understood once she lived it herself. What had once been a clinical observation became a deeply personal insight, shaping the lens through which she now supports and guides other women.
You can connect with her on Instagram at @drchristellemd and @reclaimthepinkwithin
Website: www.getyourpinkbackproject.com
Email: info@reclaimthepinkwithin.com
Medical Disclaimer
The Reclaim The Pink Within podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared in this podcast reflects the personal views and professional experiences of the host and guests and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
While Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a licensed physician, this podcast does not constitute a doctor–patient relationship. Always seek the advice of your own qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical or mental health concerns, diagnoses, or treatment decisions. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice because of something you have heard on this podcast.
Thank You for Listening
Thank you for spending your time with us and for being part of the Reclaim The Pink Within community. This space exists because of women who are willing to listen, reflect, and engage in conversations that are often kept private. Whether you are in the midst of transition, questioning who you are becoming, or simply seeking connection, your presence here matters.
Your willingness to show up—for yourself and for others—is what makes this project possible.
Subscribe to the Podcast
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New episodes are released regularly, each offering insight, reflection, and shared experience.
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Transcript
In my mind, I was going through it again, bringing up memories and
Speaker:trauma and experiences, good and bad. And,
Speaker:yeah, I kind of went right back there to how difficult it was at that
Speaker:time. And also with my first child, it's only, like, experience.
Speaker:And years later, realizing that I definitely had postnatal depression
Speaker:after her, it was undiagnosed. I thought, I'm
Speaker:going to cry again every single day for about six months. And I was
Speaker:landed right back into it with my middle child. And, yeah, I just
Speaker:didn't think that that would happen because I thought the
Speaker:first child, things were so tumultuous and, you know, I didn't know what was gonna
Speaker:happen, that that was why I struggled. Yeah. With her. And so
Speaker:I thought, I'm gonna. This is gonna be a breeze second time around. I had
Speaker:all these emotions come back up for me, and I struggled
Speaker:the second time around. Welcome back, everyone. So today I
Speaker:have Sara with me, who lives in Dublin, Ireland,
Speaker:and she is a mum of three, a
Speaker:graphic designer, currently on a. She's
Speaker:kindly taken time to chat with me today to share her experience through
Speaker:motherhood. So welcome. Hi, Christel. Thanks for having me.
Speaker:You're welcome. So tell me a little bit about you,
Speaker:your life, and where you were at before you became a mum.
Speaker:So I started my motherhood journey very early in Life.
Speaker:I was 17 when I got pregnant, and,
Speaker:yeah, I was a teenager. Oh. The world
Speaker:revolved around me and
Speaker:naive and innocent and all this kind of stuff at the same time.
Speaker:Is motherhood something that you had thought about before or before you
Speaker:stepped into it or imagined? Well, I mean, I remember
Speaker:sort of as a teenager thinking, I
Speaker:don't think that I want kids, because, you know,
Speaker:when I would see kids having a temper tantrum or something like that,
Speaker:oh, God, that's so annoying, you know, And I don't. Don't want to have to
Speaker:deal with that. And then, yeah, that I got pregnant and
Speaker:there was just no question, you know, I could have this
Speaker:baby and wanted to be a mother to it and.
Speaker:Yeah. And how did your transition into
Speaker:motherhood go when she was born? It was
Speaker:a massive shock, a huge shock. But also, at
Speaker:the same time, I felt like I
Speaker:kind of woke up. Everything
Speaker:made sense, really, because especially being a
Speaker:teenager and a bit of a rebellious teenager,
Speaker:I thought my parents were working against me. Okay. They were
Speaker:limiting me and holding me back from all the things that I wanted to do.
Speaker:And when I had my
Speaker:daughter, like, literally just holding her for the first time,
Speaker:it just. It was a realization that, oh, my God, like
Speaker:this is what is making the world turn,
Speaker:you know, this love that you have for someone. And
Speaker:I got where my parents were coming from. Like everything they were doing
Speaker:was to keep me safe. And
Speaker:yeah, it was just a realization like, oh, this is what
Speaker:it's all about. Yeah. And in those first kind of few months
Speaker:or even years, what did you find most challenging?
Speaker:Because becoming a mom at such a young age,
Speaker:you wouldn't have necessarily had peers going through the same thing as you were.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah. So I was the only one
Speaker:in my group of friends. I didn't know anyone actually my age or
Speaker:close to my age that had been through a similar situation. So it was very
Speaker:isolating. And I think it's a real
Speaker:important age. Kind of, you know, 16,
Speaker:17, 18. You're becoming more of a
Speaker:person and finding independence and confidence
Speaker:and really discovering who you are.
Speaker:And a part of that is where your parents or, you know, kind of
Speaker:letting you go a little bit more, giving you a bit more freedom and you
Speaker:really cover who you are at that age. I think really critical.
Speaker:And for me, that part got put on pause
Speaker:and I had to grow up in a totally different way. So I was suddenly
Speaker:responsible for this tiny human being and
Speaker:what I wanted or needed didn't come into it anymore.
Speaker:So in one way I was way ahead of
Speaker:my peers, maturity wise. And in other ways I was
Speaker:way behind them because I didn't get that self discovery
Speaker:period of life that they got.
Speaker:When did that come for you? I think,
Speaker:yeah, probably into my 20s, sort of as she got older and was a bit
Speaker:more independent and I, you know, I could
Speaker:go out a bit more and try and catch up and
Speaker:a little bit of traveling and that kind of stuff. Now it was always very
Speaker:curbed, you know, I, I wasn't kind of
Speaker:traveling the world or anything like that, but just little, little trips to
Speaker:see the world. Sometimes I brought her with me, sometimes I went without her because
Speaker:my parents were fantastic in helping with her
Speaker:and going to college as well was also a huge part for me.
Speaker:It was, it was really good to go there and
Speaker:learn and be around people my age
Speaker:and, you know, just realize that we all
Speaker:have our own stuff going on. Yeah. I
Speaker:was still the only one that had a child,
Speaker:but still it was, it was a growth period for
Speaker:me by being there. Yeah. Did you ever feel
Speaker:lost throughout all? Yes, yeah, very
Speaker:much so. I think
Speaker:especially being a mum so young, I really didn't
Speaker:trust my instinct
Speaker:and I would often look to my parents, you know, for advice or
Speaker:Guidance and.
Speaker:Yeah, so it's kind of. It felt like I really felt like I couldn't do
Speaker:it on my own. You know,
Speaker:looking back now, I realize, I mean, I wasn't doing it on my
Speaker:own. I had a lot of support and help, but I still. I got through
Speaker:it, you know, I did it and.
Speaker:And I should have listened to myself a bit more, that
Speaker:kind of gut feeling. So, yeah, just kind of feeling lost and
Speaker:like, where do we go from here? And how did
Speaker:your transition. How did it compare to when you became a mom
Speaker:second time around? Because you were at a very different stage second
Speaker:time around? I was really positive about it. There was. It was
Speaker:just so different. For starters, it
Speaker:was. It was planned and,
Speaker:you know, there was a lot of, you know, there was financial security
Speaker:and stability and, you know, I
Speaker:just. I'm going to, you know, for myself as well, for.
Speaker:As a healing kind of process, to.
Speaker:To try and control it as much as I could,
Speaker:because everything had happened the first time around was so out of my control.
Speaker:But I have to say, because of the gap there was, there's 15
Speaker:years between two of them, and
Speaker:I got that awful
Speaker:familiar feeling of, oh, my God, I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker:When I had her and I was in the hospital
Speaker:and I was looking at her and I said, I
Speaker:don't know, I don't remember how to do that. It was
Speaker:terrifying. And
Speaker:I was trying to remember, like, how did I do it with her the first
Speaker:time? How did I do this and how did I do that? And the
Speaker:reality of it is that they all have very different personalities, and
Speaker:even the stuff that I could remember didn't necessarily
Speaker:apply. And so, yeah, I felt like I was doing
Speaker:it all over for the very first time again. Interesting,
Speaker:because a lot of time had passed and there was some kind
Speaker:of muscle memories there, but
Speaker:a lot of it was gone. So, yeah, it was a big shock to the
Speaker:system. Again, did you feel like you lost yourself
Speaker:again? I know you mentioned, like, you didn't have a fully formed identity
Speaker:the first time you went around, so you felt like that wasn't even something
Speaker:that you could go through, and that that identity
Speaker:probably came more as your first was older. Did you
Speaker:notice an identity shift second time around? Yeah,
Speaker:I think what happened was
Speaker:because I was kind of brought back
Speaker:to all those years ago, I was almost
Speaker:reliving it in. In my mind. I was going through it again,
Speaker:bringing up memories and trauma and
Speaker:experiences, good and bad. And
Speaker:yeah, I kind of went right back there to how difficult it was at
Speaker:that time. And also with my first child,
Speaker:it's only like, experience. And years later, realizing that I
Speaker:definitely had postnatal depression after it was
Speaker:undiagnosed, I thought, oh,
Speaker:I'm gonna cry again every single day for about six months.
Speaker:And I was. Landed right back into it with my middle child.
Speaker:And, yeah, I just didn't think
Speaker:that that would happen because I thought
Speaker:the first child, things were so tumultuous and,
Speaker:you know, I didn't know what was going to happen, that that was why I
Speaker:struggled. So. Yeah. With her. And so I thought,
Speaker:I'm gonna. This is gonna be a breeze second time around. And I
Speaker:had all these emotions come back up for me, and I struggled
Speaker:the second time around, and that was really disappointing for me because I thought
Speaker:if I applied a, B and C to it, I can control
Speaker:everything about it. Yeah.
Speaker:So, yeah. Totally lost again for a while. And
Speaker:did you find it easier to seek help or did you. Did you even
Speaker:seek help the first time around? No, I didn't seek help the first time around.
Speaker:I had no idea. Yeah. What about second time around? Second time around?
Speaker:I did. Yes. Yeah. Went to the doctor. How did that look like for you?
Speaker:That looks like for me. Again
Speaker:with the. With the needing to control the. The narrative. It
Speaker:was a massive failure. Going into the doctor's office and saying,
Speaker:I'm not coping. Yeah. But once
Speaker:I kind of got past that and started getting better, I realized,
Speaker:you know, nobody can control whether that happens or
Speaker:nothing. You can do. Be gentle with yourself and work on
Speaker:getting better. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Yeah. Huge
Speaker:amount of pressure. Yeah. Yeah. Unrealistic most of the time.
Speaker:Yeah. And, like, it just, you know, there's a lot of things you can't control
Speaker:with little babies when you are trying to get well
Speaker:yourself, like, you know, sleep
Speaker:important, and that's probably the biggest thing that is taken
Speaker:from you. Yeah. So it just,
Speaker:it. It looked like
Speaker:not being so hard on myself. And. And what helped
Speaker:you get out of that? You mentioned you went to your gp. Were there any
Speaker:individual in your support network? Yes. Did you.
Speaker:Did you seek any other help professionally? I. I joined a
Speaker:breastfeeding group and it was through that
Speaker:group just speaking with the women and, you know,
Speaker:they were just so open and welcoming and not
Speaker:hiding these difficulties and, like, you know,
Speaker:just connecting with them. And then through that,
Speaker:some of the women did a running club, and I joined the running club,
Speaker:and I loved it. That exercise really just,
Speaker:like, got my adrenaline going and gave me something to do. And I
Speaker:brought the baby with me, so it wasn't something that I had an excuse where
Speaker:I could say, oh, well, I have no babysitter. You know, I took her with
Speaker:me in the buggy. We'd go running. I feel amazing for the rest of the
Speaker:day. And then from that, we got into a group where
Speaker:we'd meet up and go sea swimming. And we need to take turns with the
Speaker:babies on the beach. Okay. You guys
Speaker:run into the water now and again, you just, like, you're buzzing. So you've got
Speaker:that human connection. You're being included
Speaker:with your babies. It's not kind of something like, oh, well, you have to leave
Speaker:the babies at home to do this so they could be part of your day.
Speaker:And, yeah, just that connection was. Was massive. Just kind of finding
Speaker:other people that you could be honest with.
Speaker:Yeah. A shared experience and that you're not alone in all of this,
Speaker:which it sounds like you really didn't get the opportunity to have that first time
Speaker:around. Yeah, I wouldn't have had that first time around. Yeah. Second time around, it
Speaker:really, really helped. And then how did that compare to third time around? Because
Speaker:I believe third time around, it was the middle of the pandemic, wasn't it?
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. It was such a healing
Speaker:experience, actually, which is
Speaker:crazy to say, considering how chaotic it was. So it was an
Speaker:unplanned home birth. Oh, wow.
Speaker:Of all girls, the third baby decided she was coming
Speaker:okay. Yeah, she came really fast. Didn't have time to get to the hospital.
Speaker:No pain relief.
Speaker:Yeah. Had her at home on the sitting room floor.
Speaker:And my husband was there, and the
Speaker:paramedics arrived just sort of in time to help deliver
Speaker:her. And it was just such a
Speaker:different experience. For starters,
Speaker:I'd always kind of gone into each labor hoping that I would
Speaker:have a natural birth and avoid the.
Speaker:The epidural for no particular reason.
Speaker:I just. It was just something that I felt I wanted
Speaker:and I'd happen. Had an epidural on the first two.
Speaker:And, you know, things got intense at home, and I
Speaker:was thinking, oh, God, I can't do this without an epidural. But I actually didn't
Speaker:have a choice. Yeah. And I found
Speaker:I just got. I just listened to my body,
Speaker:and my body was telling me what it needed to do, Even though it was
Speaker:this kind of scary situation, like we don't have professionals around us.
Speaker:Anything could go wrong. It's a very vulnerable situation. But I listened
Speaker:to my body. My body was telling me, this is what you got to do.
Speaker:And I just went through it and I think, you
Speaker:know, they brought us to the hospital afterwards just for a quick
Speaker:checkup and check the baby and all the rest. But I was back home that
Speaker:evening and I even got up and made a cup of tea for myself and
Speaker:my husband. Great. And
Speaker:I don't know, my body was just in much
Speaker:better shape than it had been after. It sounds
Speaker:like it was quite an empowering experience for you. Was. And so
Speaker:positive considering it was totally out of my control.
Speaker:But just I suppose because it was my third labor, I
Speaker:knew what to expect if that happened first time around that
Speaker:be absolutely terrifying. But yeah, I just, I
Speaker:loved that it was a natural birth and she herself
Speaker:was a very relaxed baby and the other two
Speaker:were not great sleepers. This one just
Speaker:would doze anywhere and you know,
Speaker:with the first two, I didn't know what time I'd be going to bed.
Speaker:Basically evening was like, what's it going to be tonight?
Speaker:The third one, she was so easy. And I
Speaker:said, I'm going to bed now. I take the baby with me and we go
Speaker:sleep. And it was just amazing. So
Speaker:yeah, I, I took the hint and I figured that's the last
Speaker:one because I don't want to take that. But yeah,
Speaker:like third time around it was really amazing. Much better.
Speaker:She kind of just fit in with the rest of us. We went with
Speaker:the flow and like, yeah, yeah, much easier. Did you
Speaker:struggle with your mental health or lose yourself third time
Speaker:around? Not initially.
Speaker:I, I did great
Speaker:for the first year, I'd say I think everything was great
Speaker:and it was after that. So I don't even know
Speaker:what the kind of trigger was, but I just noticed
Speaker:just kind of feeling a little bit down. It wasn't as obvious as
Speaker:the other times and
Speaker:you know, it's, it's the, just the, the
Speaker:massive to do list that never gets done.
Speaker:Just a kind of frustrated feeling and just
Speaker:maybe a little less color in my day to day.
Speaker:So just low mood. I suppose I started
Speaker:having to question like, why is that happening? Because
Speaker:I don't see anything wrong really.
Speaker:But I suppose what was happening is that, you know, you've got three
Speaker:kids and you know, they each
Speaker:require so much of
Speaker:that. It is very hard to know what it is that you need yourself and
Speaker:you just kind of knuckle down and you get through the day and you don't
Speaker:actually ask yourself, did I get anything that I needed? You
Speaker:mentioned that you noticed a shift that I think was a bit kind of
Speaker:grayer and duller and Chaotic. Around the one year mark, I
Speaker:wonder, did you breastfeed your third girl and when
Speaker:did you wean or stop breastfeeding her? So, yeah, I breastfed all
Speaker:three of them and I actually didn't stop
Speaker:breastfeeding her until she was just over two.
Speaker:Okay. So, yeah, because I was actually aware that, like,
Speaker:you know, that if I'd stopped breastfeeding, it might lower
Speaker:my mood for a little while. Yeah. So now I was still
Speaker:going with that and that that was just easy for me at that
Speaker:point. I didn't have any stress struggles with that.
Speaker:But I think it was just that day to day,
Speaker:there was no time to kind of question, what,
Speaker:what do I need to kind of fill my book? And,
Speaker:you know, you're not able to use the bathroom on your own, you're not able
Speaker:to shower on your own. You know, the
Speaker:dinner that you just spent ages making, they're not going to
Speaker:eat. And, you know, all of that comes
Speaker:trying. So, yeah, I think that that was
Speaker:happening as I was just kind of fading a little
Speaker:bit. And was there a moment where you
Speaker:noticed that I need to change something
Speaker:or else I'm going to continue to fade?
Speaker:Yeah, definitely. I was getting to
Speaker:a point where my physical health was being
Speaker:affected. So I think up until that
Speaker:point, any kind of mental health struggles or
Speaker:emotional struggles because you can't see them,
Speaker:we're very much getting kind of put to the side and just like, let's
Speaker:keep struggling through and just, you know, head down,
Speaker:keep, keep going, keep going, keep going. And
Speaker:then physical manifestations started
Speaker:happening and I'm actually so tired all
Speaker:the time. I'm
Speaker:actually sleeping okay. But I'm still exhausted the next day.
Speaker:My kind of joy for life is
Speaker:disappearing. I have all these aches and pains and
Speaker:no one seems to know what they are. And I'm trying to eat healthy
Speaker:and I'm trying to exercise, but it's just making me more
Speaker:exhausted and really questioning, like, why is
Speaker:that?
Speaker:So I knew, like, yeah, okay, it's starting to physically affect me. I have to
Speaker:start doing something to bring myself
Speaker:back because they all need me here.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, the family unit.
Speaker:Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, it was more than just trying to eat
Speaker:healthily and exercise. I actually stopped exercising because
Speaker:physically I couldn't have the
Speaker:strength to do it. So I just started giving myself a bit of a
Speaker:rest. Okay. Kind of trying to do it all.
Speaker:Did you find it hard to rest and pause? Yeah, I would still
Speaker:find it very hard to rest. You know, if you, if there is
Speaker:a part of the day where I'm sitting down, I actually might
Speaker:just fall asleep. So to avoid that, you have to keep
Speaker:going. But what I started to do
Speaker:was I went in nature.
Speaker:That was what I was drawn to.
Speaker:And I started planting vegetables and
Speaker:learning about flowers and weeds
Speaker:that would grow around you naturally and what kind of nutrition you can get from
Speaker:those. And what is safety and what's not safety. I just found it so interesting.
Speaker:It gave me a little spark of,
Speaker:like, there were things that I used to enjoy before
Speaker:all of this. And so, yeah, I
Speaker:was just kind of following this kind of instinct of
Speaker:my body and my mind are telling me to go outside. Yeah. Something
Speaker:with nature. And. Yeah. So I went
Speaker:through with that and it's become a hobby. And I never would have been interested
Speaker:in gardening when I was younger whatsoever. But I love being outside.
Speaker:And there is something very wholesome
Speaker:about it. And you can do it
Speaker:anytime you want. You know, you don't have to have a garden. You can just
Speaker:be outside and you can notice what's growing around you. And it's a kind of
Speaker:a. Isn't it, really? It's like just noticing
Speaker:what's around you and listening to the birds and just breathing.
Speaker:It's slowing down and being present. Yeah. And with elements
Speaker:which can be so hard to do when you have young kids and you're trying
Speaker:to juggle everything. And it's
Speaker:interesting, even you just comparing how with each child
Speaker:you needed something different to connect with yourself. Yeah.
Speaker:Each experience was different. And you can't apply the
Speaker:same tools you had over and over again. You need to
Speaker:really look in words, and you use the words, oh, I've been called
Speaker:to nature and how that really pulled you out. And you can even see
Speaker:when you're talking about it that you're, you know, smiling more and
Speaker:really, you know, invigorated by
Speaker:it. So how are things now? Now kids are 4,
Speaker:7 and 23. Yeah. And so they
Speaker:are still needing me just as much as
Speaker:ever. And, you know, it is. It's really, really tough
Speaker:going. So, like,
Speaker:I don't kind of have a. Here's the answer.
Speaker:Yeah, we're in the thick of it. We are. But I get a
Speaker:lot of kind of moments of
Speaker:joy. So rather than kind of looking
Speaker:at the big
Speaker:picture, like, oh, God, they've had three, you know, in
Speaker:a. The course of a day, there's been four
Speaker:meltdowns. One of those involves a
Speaker:smashed glass. You know, we need to get a
Speaker:plumber for elite that we had going on
Speaker:and all these things that could possibly be going wrong. I'm
Speaker:kind of using tunnel vision to focus on the good
Speaker:parts. So, okay, one of them might have had three
Speaker:or four meltdowns in a day, but there was that
Speaker:lovely little moment where I saw her share with
Speaker:her sister or just sing a little song
Speaker:without that anyone was listening and just really
Speaker:holding onto those little, like, glimmers is what I call them,
Speaker:gives me so much joy.
Speaker:Being able to watch them kind of
Speaker:thrive in areas where they've had personal difficulties. And then, you
Speaker:know, knowing that I've been helping them
Speaker:overcome that is a feel, you know, you get. You
Speaker:get a kick out of that. And
Speaker:yeah, just listening to myself and remembering, like,
Speaker:it's actually okay to not answer them straight away when they're coughing.
Speaker:You. Yeah, they will be okay. They will survive. They will be
Speaker:okay. They're safe. I just need a minute
Speaker:then, and just recognizing my own emotions because,
Speaker:you know, if I don't do that, I end up having a tantrum like they
Speaker:do, you know, and then I regret it and then I'm like, I'm sorry that
Speaker:I did that. And. Yeah. And it avoids
Speaker:all of us having. Meltdowns, which I'm sure still
Speaker:happens some days. Definitely. I haven't
Speaker:figured out how to completely stop it, but. Yeah.
Speaker:If you could speak to your younger self or give yourself words and
Speaker:wisdom, what would you tell her?
Speaker:I think listen to your gut
Speaker:more, because I didn't. I just
Speaker:assumed. I know nothing. I need to
Speaker:lean on people for advice and
Speaker:wisdom and, you know, and I, I did. I knew a lot of it. Like,
Speaker:looking back, there's definitely mistakes that I made raising
Speaker:my eldest, but I actually did a really good job too.
Speaker:And I say that. And considering
Speaker:my circumstances. Yeah, like,
Speaker:we did okay. Yeah. To
Speaker:just be less hard on myself.
Speaker:Although it did kind of give me drive to work harder at things,
Speaker:you know, so, you know, benefited in
Speaker:a way. But, yeah, just
Speaker:be more gentle and trust yourself. Is there anything
Speaker:you think society misunderstands about the shift into motherhood?
Speaker:Nobody knows what's involved unless
Speaker:they are in it. Nobody. You can't. You
Speaker:cannot explain it because so much of it is
Speaker:invisible. Just don't see it. Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah. It has a bit of a. I don't know,
Speaker:a negative reputation.
Speaker:What do you mean by that? I think some women would
Speaker:feel, you know, like career women
Speaker:who have families might
Speaker:not talk about the family side as much like it's more focused on,
Speaker:well, these are my achievements career wise.
Speaker:Because there's something more solid about it. And
Speaker:explain how well you've organized their
Speaker:clothes and the system and the thought process that went into that so
Speaker:that they don't get like messed up or whatever, you know, that.
Speaker:Yeah. Comparison. But I don't know, you can't
Speaker:kind of show your achievements with.
Speaker:There's not a, there's not a certificate, there's not an award. Yeah.
Speaker:It's way harder than work, I would say. It's way harder than my job
Speaker:as a physician. Yeah. And I, I felt the same as well. Like
Speaker:when I was working, I would say, you
Speaker:know, it's a bit of a break. You're going. And you're going to get your
Speaker:set breaks. You're going to eat with both
Speaker:hands or a knife and fork with someone on your lap. You get
Speaker:toilet break whenever you want. And
Speaker:when you're doing a really good job, someone will tell you, you know,
Speaker:pay rise. And you get, you know, you get a salary and that kind of
Speaker:stuff. You don't get that at home. So. Yeah.
Speaker:And it's, it's around the clock. It's, you know, you get to go home from
Speaker:your job. Yeah. The. The invisible workload is
Speaker:insane. And I don't think anyone would understand that unless they're in it.
Speaker:Yeah. Is there anything else that you'd like to share that I haven't asked
Speaker:you about today? I
Speaker:think what I've found in really difficult
Speaker:times, especially when you're kind of feeling very isolated as a mother,
Speaker:is to take a little bit of a risk and be a bit open and
Speaker:vulnerable with other mothers. Because
Speaker:I think we all have our guard up a lot of the time. There's
Speaker:this, like, don't everybody, if you're comparing
Speaker:yourself to anyone, which is just the worst thing that you can do. So don't
Speaker:do that. You know, everyone else
Speaker:looks like they have their together, but, you know,
Speaker:if they say they do, they're lying. So, you know, you need to kind of
Speaker:reach out to them and say, you know, I. I
Speaker:struggled with this or that. And it often opens up a
Speaker:conversation and you can get past the
Speaker:politeness and actually have a proper connection
Speaker:with someone. And sometimes if I'm the first
Speaker:person to do that, it makes other people feel safe
Speaker:to then go, yeah, this is.
Speaker:Just makes it more real and makes you feel less alone.
Speaker:Yeah. I've been asking everyone if there is a quote or mantra
Speaker:that has been meaningful to them and you shared
Speaker:this too. Shall pass. Yeah. And I
Speaker:think that is. Yeah, that definitely gets you through the hard bits. Yeah. Yeah, it
Speaker:does because when you're in the thick of it, whether it's
Speaker:sleepless nights or, you know, sickness or
Speaker:whatever it is, it will come to an end. I
Speaker:don't know when, but it will. But it will.
Speaker:And, yeah, you just have to hang on to that when things get really. Hard
Speaker:and see the glimmers. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Hold
Speaker:on to the glimmers. Yeah. Thank you
Speaker:so much for sharing with us today. I think that it'll speak to a
Speaker:lot of women and really help them see that
Speaker:we're all in this together and all our experiences can be different.
Speaker:But there are some, you know, shared difficulties and
Speaker:shared joys in motherhood. Definitely.
